Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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