you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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