Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
love makes seman taste better
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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