Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize