wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
