Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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