Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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