I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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