Dual....:-)
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
