i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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