the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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