I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
