I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
