Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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