Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
