I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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