I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
