What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
