Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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