I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
