How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
