I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
birth control should be required to get into college
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
