I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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