A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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