This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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