I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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