they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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