so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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