Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
