you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
