I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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