so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
