That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
