you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
