Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
