Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
3pm strippers are depressing
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
