Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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