nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
