don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize