So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
