Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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