i was born a porn star she said
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
