So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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