In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
