Tell her she can't have a vagina
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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