i just google imaged poop.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
