People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize