new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
