Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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