I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
