How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
