Pants 0. Shit 1.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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