4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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