i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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