I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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