Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
