I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize