One girl and one boy is just not enough.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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