I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize