Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so much tequila, so little girl.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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